Adamas Lacrimae

Before leaving Indonesia a little more than one year ago, I thought to myself that I might not be able to see my grandparents ever again. That the last time I said goodbye to them was the final goodbye, for once and all. It was not without reason. My grandparents are old, and they were already weak and sick. I know, if one of the three grandparents left the earth when I'm still abroad, there would be no chance of me going home. Even my Dad said that if he died, I should not go home because there's no point in it. So I prayed that I would still be given the chance of seeing them again when I'm home. That they'll stay two more years. Only yesterday, Mum told me that she just bought diapers for her Mum, my Mbahti. She said that she is so weak now and basically bedridden. But she said that my Dad's mum, my Eyang, is quite better. Alas, this morning I woke up with a news that Eyang was admitted to the hospital again. She was in the ICU for the whole day, unc

It's just past midnight in The Netherlands.  For the last hour, it was snowing. Real snow. Not that much, but still snow. My first snow. My first snow. I knew since I was little that I wanted to experience snow. Seeing, touching, feeling . I knew I would go see snow, somehow. Dreams come true. They frikkin come true. It's beautiful. It's also scary and overwhelming. My friends are now overjoy. Celebrating the snowfall. You need to know it's so rare to snow here in Delft, or in The Netherlands for that matter. We only get the cold. We only get the wind. But now, it's snowing. Surprisingly the air is not that cold. Last night I turned my heater on to almost maximum and it was still cold. Tonight, at least for the past hour, I let my window open to let the cold air in....along with sight of snow.  Am I full with joy? Not quite. Maybe. Yes. I don't know. I spent the last hour on the floor of my room crying my heart out, listening to "How

Around 2 weeks before Christmas I said to my self and to many people: "I can not wait till Christmas!" Now it's 2 weeks after Christmas and time passed so quickly without me even realizing. To be honest I start cursing up and down because exam is approaching in around two weeks and I AM NOT READY. Not a bit. See how funny it is. All the time periods I mentioned is the same : two weeks. A fortnight. Half a month. Before  something fun, it seems too long. It was unbearably awful to wait for Christmas to come. My friend used to calm me  down every now and then, saying it will eventually come. He also needed to remind me every now and then that I would survive the remaining time (class-wise :p). During  and after  something fun, it seems soooooooooooo quick. How can my two weeks worth of Christmas break gone in a blink just like that. POOF. GONE. Christmas day seemed to be so long ago, although it was just almost  two weeks ago. I can still feel the spiri

So now it is winter here in The Netherlands. And no, no snow. Not a speck in sight. The temperature ranges from -4 ℃ to 7 ℃ here, with the first being super cold and the last being rather warm. When I was still in Indonesia I often wondered to myself, what would I wear if I was in a winterland. I detest cold in general, and surely winter is a cold time. Well now I have the answer: Layers and accessories. Layer and layer of clothes are the savior. I learned that if I wore multiple layers of clothes underneath my coat, I would be nice and warm. The nice thing about layering is, if you're too warm, you can easily peel off the outer layer, and vice versa, if you're too cold, you can easily add without being (too) bulky. Example of layering I do. Tank top. T-shirt. Cotton sweater. Stockings. Jeans. Thick jacket. Bra. T-shirt. Sweater. Stockings. Short skirt. Medium-long coat. As for the accessory, don't forget to wear a scarf. It is quite essential to wear a