Snow

It's just past midnight in The Netherlands. 

For the last hour, it was snowing. Real snow. Not that much, but still snow.

My first snow.

My first snow.

I knew since I was little that I wanted to experience snow. Seeing, touching, feeling. I knew I would go see snow, somehow. Dreams come true. They frikkin come true. It's beautiful. It's also scary and overwhelming.

My friends are now overjoy. Celebrating the snowfall. You need to know it's so rare to snow here in Delft, or in The Netherlands for that matter. We only get the cold. We only get the wind. But now, it's snowing. Surprisingly the air is not that cold. Last night I turned my heater on to almost maximum and it was still cold. Tonight, at least for the past hour, I let my window open to let the cold air in....along with sight of snow. 

Am I full with joy? Not quite. Maybe. Yes. I don't know. I spent the last hour on the floor of my room crying my heart out, listening to "How Far I'll Go" (OST. Moana) in repeat. I'm not even sure why do I cry the moment I saw the snow.

I'm physically tired, emotionally exhausted, mentally drained. It's still Christmas break but I've been working on my assignments in the last 4 days (and will be working till the end of the quarter because deadlines and exams are approaching). I miss my family and friends. I've been putting pictures of them on the wall but still... I miss the sun and the beaches. I don't really mind the gloomy cloud that looms over, but the cold makes me feel miserable. I never liked the cold. I am a girl who loves the sea and the sun. 

This snow reminds me of how far I've gone, from little girl who dreams to not so little girl who experiences. This snow reminds me of how far I go, from home and love to school and cold.

This snow reminds me, how painful beauty can be.

This snow....

My first snow.

On the edge of the window,

January 7th

Aida

PS. the picture was taken at midnight. it's bright because it was taken in night mode using a pretty decent pocket camera.